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September 07, 2005
The Newwwww Jerseyyyyy Guy
This posting is about a phenomenon on my commute up from Brooklyn to midtown Manhattan that I encounter frequently enough to be annoying. I looked around the discussion boards at the Straphanger's Campaign and the New York rants and raves section on Craigslist. Even in such a voluminous corpus of complaints about the subway, I couldn't find any mention of the Newwwww Jerseyyyyy Guy.
The Newwwww Jerseyyyyy Guy, whom I'll refer to as NJG for the rest of this post, is a conductor who works the uptown (west/northbound) 2 subway line in the morning. In older subway cars used by other subway lines, the conductor of the train has to announce the next stop at which the train will stop over the public address system. The 2 trains, on the other hand, have the most modern subway cars in the New York subway system. These cars, also shared by the 4 and 5 lines, have automated announcements regarding the upcoming stop and the transfers available at that stop. The conductor's job in these new trains is reduced to making announcements about transit changes and emergencies. These announcements from real human beings are preceded by a distinctive ding note that passengers have learned to associate (unpleasantly) with upcoming trouble or inconvenience.
NJG, like so many annoying people, loves the sound of his voice. His really annoying offense, however, is that he uses every opportunity to refer to the Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State as "Newwwww Jerseyyyyy". His announcements usually go as follows:
Good morning' Manhattan, good mornin'. The next stop on this train will be 14th St. Transfers are available to the 1, F, L and V trains and the PATH trains to Newwwww Jerseyyyyy. That's right. Transfers are available at the front of the train to the 1, F, L and V trains and the PATH trains to Newwwww Jerseyyyyy. Have a nice Tuesday!
The Newwwww is sing-songed on a long rising note and the Jerseyyyyy on a long falling note. Fearing that his announcements have pissed off the subway gods, he puts on the automated announcers immediately after he has finished his childish prattle just so they can say exactly the same thing. Every so often, he says other useless things like "Pay attention to the red and white subway signs. They tell you about changes to subway service this weekend." It is clear that he comes on air (preceded by the dreaded emergency note, no less) just so that he can say Newwwww Jerseyyyyy. Perhaps NJG has the noble goal of livening up a thousand morning commutes. He fails miserably, though. On numerous occasions that I have ridden the train with NJG, I have made eye contact with a fellow commuter and we have both rolled our eyes together when NJG comes on. After you hear him a few times, you almost feel like he's a cretin who just can't say it without sounding like an eight year old.
MTA, hear my plea! This guy clearly feels trapped in his subway conductor job. With his infectious (-ly annoying) spirit, he could do so much better being the chief DJ of a radio station. In fact, I hope you relieve him so that he can find such a job pronto and cynical, jaded New Yorkers like me can revel in their insipid morning commutes. Have a nice Tuesday!
Posted by Vishy at September 7, 2005 02:03 AM
Comments
Hey, that's just mean.
This guy gave you the opportunity to share a moment of eye-rolling with a fellow commuter. That's cool, no? Even if he's mildly annoying, at least he gives the MTA some spirit.
Posted by: Karolina at September 13, 2005 12:06 PM