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August 25, 2006

HOWTO: Fake out someone about where you live in New York

One of the paradoxes of New York City, and Manhattan in particular, is that despite its size, many of its residents tend to live most of their lives within a 10 block radius of their home and office. When one really thinks about it though, this phenomenon is hardly surprising. Each neighborhood has a distinctive character, except perhaps midtown, where people tend to spend time solely for work reasons. When picking a part of town in which to live or spend an evening, this diversity of character results in a high degree of self-selection, sometimes to the point of self-segregation. In short, people tend to keep their favorite two or three neighborhoods. You can use this simple truth to fake someone out about where you live or work in New York.

You may be trying to fend off a creepy guy at a bar, or you may be a B&T spy chatting up a girl under an assumed identity. Whatever be your reasons for doing so, you can use this handy guide to faking Manhattan addresses and be assured of success simply because a disturbing number of New Yorkers simply don't know better. I hope I don't sound condescending, for I count myself among this band of New Yorkers. Most importantly though, it is the truth! Still, armed with a handy map of New York, NY and enough determination, you can accumulate all this *cough* extremely useful information.

Most of Manhattan is criscrossed by numbered and named east-west streets and north-south avenues (if you didn't know this, I'd be afraid, very afraid in your place). Not all avenues intersect all streets. Here's a list of all the avenues and the streets where they begin and end. Just pick an avenue and a number outside its range and bingo, you have a fake Manhattan address.

Going approximately east to west...

Ave D

Runs from Houston St to E 13th St

Ave C

Runs from Houston St to E 15th St

Aves A and B

Runs from Houston St E 14th St

York Ave

Runs from E 60th St to E 92nd St

1st Ave

Runs from Houston St to E 125th St

2nd Ave

Runs from Houston St to E 128th St

3rd Ave

Runs from E 6th St to E 149th St, in the Bronx!

4th Ave

Runs from E 6th St to E 14th St. This avenue wins the dubious honor of being the shortest.

Broadway

From Battery Pl to Well Outside New York City, all the way to Rockefeller State Park, near Sleepy Hollow, NY (not recommended as a fake out, because it actually hits every numbered street in Manhattan. After all, it was a major Native American trail before the Europeans arrived.)

Park Ave

Runs from E 17th St to E 132nd St

Madison Ave

Runs from E 26th St to E 136th St

5th Ave

Runs from Waverly Pl (~8th St) to E 142nd St

6th Ave

Runs from Canal St to W 59th St

7th Ave

Runs from Clarkson St (just North of Houston St) to W 59th St and then, in a remarkable resurrection, W 110th St to W 145th St

8th Ave

Runs from Bleecker St to W 58th St

9th Ave

Runs from W 14th St to W 57th St; continues as Columbus Ave from W 57th St to W 110th St

10th Ave

Runs from W 14th St to W 57th St; continues as Amsterdam Ave from W 57th St to W 188th St and then back to 10th Ave from Dyckman St to W 218th St

11th Ave

Runs from W 22nd St to W 59th St; continues as West End Ave from W 59th St to W 107th St; continues as Broadway until the end

12th Ave

Runs from W 22nd St to W 57th St

Lenox Ave

Runs from W 110th St to W 145th St

Frederick Douglass Blvd

Runs from W 110th St W to 155th St

Riverside Dr

Runs from W 72nd St to W 181st St

As with everything, use the above with a generous dollop of discretion. If you say you live at Ave A and 72nd St, even the most insulated New Yorker is going to call you on it.
I hope you have enjoyed this instalment of useless knowledge.

Posted by Vishy at August 25, 2006 11:20 PM

Comments

Posted by: Pinky Erro at September 29, 2006 08:45 AM